And they're offfffff!

Well Well, I went to the gym last night I only did a half hour on the treadmill, but i feel good. I did talk with the owner of the gym I have a meeting Thursday night with a trainer.. I want to know what he has to say, I think I am going to be able to stay more on track if I am paying someone to beat my ass into shape! So we will see how that goes tomorrow evening at 6! Could be deathly! Haha we shall see.

Yesterday at lunch I had made a trip to GNC, I had wanted to start taking something to help me in this battle, So I had spoken with the store manager (let me tell you he was amazing! So sincere and helpful when he was answering my questions and making suggestions! I will be going back to that store soon!)

This is what he ahd suggested. So I got the bottle with 90 pills, took 3 this morning and I'm feeling good so far, I dont really want to be at work but that isn't uncommon. I will be going to the gym after work today, so lets hope I can keep this up! Oh wait NO we dont hope, I WILL! I am planning on going at least 4 days a week if not more.

I have realized that until I hit where I want to be weight wise I may not have a lot of time for dating or spending time with friends, but honestly its my health if people dont understand and dont support me are they really my friends. I know who is there for the right reasons and not.

On a whole new note, its been 3 weeks since I've spoken to oh whats his face.. the pain is still the same as it was that first day. THIS sucks! Maybe the more I work out and concentrate on that I will be to busy to remember him. I read a quote somewhere I cant remember where but I believe it read, "a love this this, wont die easliy." Sadly enough when the other person doesnt love you back you would really hope the pain/love would lessen a little bit. Thinking about it, makes me want to cry. But I will not allow him any more tears or time. He said he wanted to remain friends. Some friend 3 weeks later knowing how hurt I was hasnt called/texted to see if I am ok. Appearently, all of this was one sided friendship and everything. I've owned up to the fact that I wasn't good enough for him.. but thats on him.. bc given the chance I know im amazing and know he isnt good enough for me. I wish I could get my heart to believe this.. All I keep doing breaking it down to how I wasnt good enough.. UGH its a horrible cycle!

Well, I think I've vented enough, Until next time....